She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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