so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
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