By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
