taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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