We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
