PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
