Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
