I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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