i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
