why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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