Do you still have your period?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
