Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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