no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Congratulations! We have a period
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
