and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Couch. On fire.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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