Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
