Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
