I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
