Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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