just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
