He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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