You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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