He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
