I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize