I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
