Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I smell like Dick and happiness
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
