How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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