i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
