it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
