Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize