I would go down on you faster than GM stock
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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