I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
