Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
