Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
