it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
