friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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