I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
