I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
