So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
