Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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