We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
