he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
