All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
