you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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