Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
