My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
