I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
