You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
and she was petting her beer can
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize