Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I smell stomach acid.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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