nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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