She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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