i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
