i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
