bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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