do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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