Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
