Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
