My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
