I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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