your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
