If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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