I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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