I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
