I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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