Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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