you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
