Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize