With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
